


Cats and Energy Drinks Should Never Mix

by robinlikeitshot



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Teen Titans (Comics)
Genre: Core Four, Crack, Fluff, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Lots of Cats, cassie Regrets, ideas made at two am should not be carried out, sleepy! tim
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:21:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24633739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robinlikeitshot/pseuds/robinlikeitshot
Summary: Tim falls asleep in the presence of his three best friends, and they are quick to take advantage of the fact.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 119





	Cats and Energy Drinks Should Never Mix

**Author's Note:**

> super indulgent random thing i wrote, idk rlly what this is (also this was literally titled as 'fluff?in my docs??more likely than you think' so if yall have any better titles hit me up)  
> enjoy:)

“Hey, Cassie?”

“Yeah?” Cassie answered, looking up from where she was working on his tablet. Kon was floating sixty or so paper Dixie cups in the air, some of which were being snatched out of the air by Bart out of boredom. 

“How many cups do you think we can stack on Tim before he wakes up?” Cassie blinks. Tilting her head, she regards the sleeping bat sleeping on the couch next to her. Then back at Kon. Logically, she knew that Tim would absolutely kill all of them if he woke up, nevermind him not having any powers. But, the boy has been sleeping away the whole afternoon, through Bart and her’s screaming match over Mario Kart, Kon’s disastrous attempt at making toast, and the emergency alarm going off(a false alarm).

Cassie narrowed her eyes. “Thirty-six.” 

“Oh, you’re on.”

________

They’re at twenty-eight when they finally run out of places to put the cups. Tim’s a notoriously deep sleeper, especially when he’s gone for a long time without, but with the amount of sound Bart’s making(supervillain cackling laughs, which, ok, we all have our moments), it’s a wonder that he hasn’t woken up yet. 

He sighs, rolling over, and there’s a chorus of groans from the three teenagers as eighty-seven percent of the cups fall off, clattering to the floor.

Kon flops down onto the floor, and Cassie winces as Tim twitches at the noise. “This isn’t working.”

“I, admittedly, didn’t consider this as a variable,” Cassie frowns, looking at the mess of strewn crumpled paper cups on the floor. 

“I have an idea!” Cassie and Kon both looked at each other with alarm, and then back to Bart, who was vibrating in place from excitement. “Let’s up the stakes a little!” Seconds later, he was standing in the exact same spot, but in his hands were…

“Oh, this is gonna be so fucking great,” Kon whispered.

___________________

Bart is covered in scratches by the time they're done, but Kon and Cassie’s invulnerable skin protects them from the same fate. In all honesty, Cassie expected Tim to wake up eight cats ago, but they’ve apparently decided to spare Tim from the scratches that litter Bart’s arms, and the teen continues snoring away(not that he’d admit it), the cats scrambling to stay on every time he turns.

Honestly, Cassie has to say she’s impressed. She knew the bats all had a lot of skills, but the ability to sleep while having twenty-three cats balanced on your body was something else. 

“He still hasn’t woken up,” Kon said, as if she couldn’t see that. She rolled her eyes, before getting her game face on. 

“Do we have any other suggestions?”

“I could get more cats,” Bart offered, albeit a little half-heartedly. One of the scratches on his elbow was bleeding a little. 

“No,” Cassie frowned. “We don’t want any more Jim-Allison situations.” They all turned and stared at the two cats, who had been banished to opposite appendages after trying to get it on on Tim’s knee. They all collectively shuddered.

“Books?” Kon suggested. Cassie thought about it, eyes catching on the heavy case-files their victim had been rifling through before he’d passed out. She grinned.

“I have a better idea.”

____________

“This is beautiful.” Bart nodded, taking a picture for posterity and uploading it to various different devices. This didn’t worry Cassie too much, they’d all probably be mysteriously disappeared by tomorrow. Or actually tonight, since their little experiment had carried the time into the AM.

Kon stuck his tongue out with concentration as he carefully balanced the last cat on top of the towering engineerical marvel that rested on Tim’s chest. A structure composed of used coffee cups, towers of paperwork, a few furry felines, and multiple energy drinks. Cassie was fairly sure that there were at least two sweaters tucked into some of the odd corners, to keep the tower stable.

Kon floated back to the floor, a few feathers stuck in his hair. Cassie squinted at him. “Bart, did you put any bir-”

Suddenly, the door burst open. They all turned to the swinging doorway, only to be confronted by… Batman! 

“Where is Robin?” Batman growled, glaring at them. Tim stirred at the sound of his mentor’s voice, and the Titans held their breath as the tower swayed. Batman’s eyes snap to it, the whites of cowl widening the only reaction he gives as the eight feet tall cat contraption came to an abrupt crash, accompanied by shrieks and yowling, whether by the cats or Bart and Kon, who it had predominantly fallen on, Cassie didn’t know.

Tim somehow stayed sleeping. 

__________

Cassie groaned even as Dave the Cat leaped into the pile of energy drinks, shredding them open. Using the broom to gently swat the cat away- the last thing they needed was a caffeinated cat- she turned to glare at Bart, who was hurriedly trying to corral the cats. It was useless, though, they were incorrigible.

Somehow, Tim still hadn’t woken up, even through the smack-down Batman had given them(after checking Tim’s blood), and the past two hours they’d spent trying to clean up the mess- a task proven harder due to the fact that many of the energy drinks had, in fact, exploded, scaring quite a few of the cats, which made gathering them up a chore.

Kon flew in from where he was disposing of the sweaters that Bart had apparently stolen from various Titans members, and looked like he was going to turn right back around. Cassie’s look stopped him though, and he flew in, albeit a bit grumpily. 

“Alright,” she ordered. “Kon, get the carpet cleaner, and Bart, you-” Cassie cuts herself off, gaping as about fifteen robins fly out from underneath the couch, where they were previously hidden by multiple used paper cups. They hit the ceiling, shrieking even as they sprinkle the room with feathers. 

Cassie watches dispassionately as the birds fly out through the window Kon had left open, and then shifting her look to a sheepish Bart, who was trying to hold six cats at once. One of the smaller ones was making what looked like a nest in his hair.

“C’mon, as if you could have resisted!” 

Cassie sighed.

_________________

It’s six hours and many, many other trials and tribulations later, most of which make Cassie want to rip her hair out and use them to strangle whoever’s idea this was in the first place, that the room is finally spotless. She collapses on the couch, completely exhausted. Bart flops down next to her, and Kon falls from the ceiling to lie motionless on the ground.

A sound emits from the vaguely Tim-like bundle of blankets on the couch and their gazes collectively snap to it. They watch as their leader unearths himself with sleepy eyes and mussed up hair, the barely emerging sunlight lighting up his face. He smiled at them.

“Hey guys-” he notices their disheveled appearances, frowning. “Are you guys ok?” he asked, the picture of perfect innocence and naivety. “Nothing happened while I was asleep, did it?”

Cassie and Bart shared a Look even as Kon made a muffled noise from the floor that sounded suspiciously like ‘Fuck me.” Cassie smiled at Tim, grin growing even as she answered a bit hysterically, “Of course not, Timmy. Whatever could have happened?”

Tim squinted at her, before turning his gaze to Kon, who was still lying prone on the floor. Tim nudged him with his socked toe, but the boy didn’t move. Frowning, he looked around. “Did you guys clean the place up?”

It takes them at least an hour to fix the burns on the carpet from where Kon’s heat vision had accidentally activated.


End file.
